Okay.
So it’s been a while since we’ve had a little chat about my Lady Business.
And I know you’ve just been sitting around, in those moments when you really have nothing going on, and wondering to yourself, “Self, what on EARTH is happening in and around Watson’s Girly Bits these days? Hmmmmm…must remember to e-mail and inquire.” Except then you get all busy again and your e-mail to me falls farther and farther down your To-Do list.
And I forgive you. Because I have a big heart like that.
And I wouldn’t want your concern for me and my bits to get the better of you, you know, keep you up at night and such. So let’s have a little chat. Especially my fellow c-section twin Mommies, seriously crack those knuckles gals, as if you’re about to give a piano recital, and GET TO TYPIN’.
Momma wants some comments, chickens.
Remember those posts during my pregnancy (also know as The Time I Swelled Up Like Free Willy) when I was totally freaked out about the state of the flippy flaps? Well, you’ll be happy to know that they did, in fact, pretty much shrink back to a fairly normal size since having the babies. I know! One less thing keeping you up at night, am I right?
BUT.
I have an issue. A major issue. And I’m not quite sure how to explain it.
Let me try to draw you a picture: So I did, in fact, gain about a million pounds. Some of it was carrying two fairly giant babies. (Not GIANT giant, like I was gestating two baby elephants, but you know what I mean.) Some of it was the liver problem that caused me to gain a pound of water A DAY towards the end of the pregnancy. And some of it was due to the chocolate milkshakes I drank to ease the heartburn. But my point IS my stomach expanded to an unruly and completely terrifying girth.
And then I had the c-section and lost close to 50 pounds in about two weeks. So my skin was stretched out and then snapped back, like a huge, fleshy stretch mark-covered rubber band. (God help you if you’re unlucky enough to be reading this post during your lunch break!)
So annnnyyyywaaaaay….I now have this…this…section of skin that sits a lot lower than it should. My lower abdominal flesh is, well, sort of saggy. SUPER saggy, you might say. In a very Golden Girls kind of way. Not that I’ve seen any of the Golden Girls without their panties and I don’t mean any disrespect to Estelle Getty, was she the one who just died? God rest her soul.
But what I’m trying to tell you is there is this…ummmmm…an overhang, if you will. At certain times it looks remarkably like an awning. Like a beige and pink striped awning. (Thanks for nothing stretch marks!) Sometimes I imagine it IS an awning, like at a cute little French sidewalk cafe. And I imagine under this awning there are attractive young couples drinking black coffee and discussing politics and the chic new First Lady and her scandalous past and planning their next trip to the French countryside for wine tasting and I imagine it could be called ‘Girl Parts Adjacent’ (because that’s CLASSY right??) and then I’m all GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF YOU FREAKING NUT BALL.
So here are my questions: If I lose the rest of the baby weight will this ever go back to its rightful place? Will the overhang magically disappear? Is this a result of gaining so much weight, the c-section or both? (Well, I already know the answer to that.)
I guess I’m wondering if anyone else out there has been a victim of the Golden Girls Attack of the Droopy Flesh Monster? Will the dreadful stretch marks ever fade? Am I destined to have a flippy flap cover my flippy flaps, practically ensuring that I would need to MapQuest my AREA should BeBop ever want to locate it?
Sort of like this, only without the lights because they would get all caught in my pubes and could be a fire hazard and okay, I’ll stop.
I don’t know WHY I’m the only person who talks about this stuff, really. I have no shame. No shame at all.
JessPond!
Please send me your info again, I managed to lose your blog invite and I’m so sorry. I will now file it safely away in my Very Important Bloggers File, I swear 🙂
Oh Watson, this is why I love you. 🙂
If you trim the pubes (and if I recall correctly, this was also a topic of dicussion during your pregnancy) they won’t pose as much of a fire hazard. I just saying this, you know, for your safety.
Ok, I have a confession. I have never had the baby, but I do have the flap. For me, it is because of weight loss/gain and the same damn cut as they would make for a c-section, except mine was for surgery on my inside girlie bits. So, I don’t know if that answers anything, because it really doesn’t. I am just telling you that you aren’t alone.
Well, I never had twins, so I can’t speak to that. But I have a flippy flap over my flippy flaps too. I mean, it’s not some cute chic French bistro flap like you have. It’s more a Gaping Maw of Death, where bellybutton lint goes to die.
But I digress. From WHAT I’ve been told (and again, this is all hearsay, sort of like the “it gets easier when the baby(ies) sleep(s) through the night” that they tell you) that the stretch marks, over time, shrink and get all silvery. And the skin DOES go back a little bit.
But. BUT. I’m gonna level with you here, because I love you. Skin only has the ability to stretch OUT… the bigger it stretched, the more it loses its elasticity.
So if your flippy flap is NOT like mine and is just… well… skin? There ain’t much you can do about it. If it IS like mine and is full of Fat and Cellulose, because that’s the only way I can actually SLAY my bellybutton lint… if you lose weight, it might get smaller.
That’s what I hear, anyway. From the same people that told me that once the baby slept through the night everything would be magically sunshine and roses and puppies.
So I’m not really buying it. I’m putting my money on my Gaping Maw of Death becoming a permanent fixture over my flaps.
xxx
I’m anxiously awaiting the answer to this because I also have the awning. Although I’ve been calling it a shelf up until now, but awning is a much more apt description. Does it ever go away?!?
And what is up with the saggy, ripply ocean of post-twin stretch-marked belly? It’s not just stretch marks, it’s like stretch marks on top of stretch marks, and the skin just sort of…undulates. Very disturbing.
First time commenting but I’ve been lurking for ages. LOVE your blog.
I only had one child…but I, too suffer from the awning you describe.
My daughter was born 4 years ago, and I weigh less now than I did when she was concieved! Of course, this does not mean that I’m any where near a healthy weight. 😉
As for the stretch marks, they will fade…mine aren’t fire engine red anymore, just a tad lighter than my skin tone.
I have a son who was 9 lbs, 22 inches long at birth- I still marvel that I pushed him out on my own- with an epidural of course! Anyhoo, I am pretty slender, but had a flap of saggy skin as well. I also have a diastisis, which is a fancy medical term to note that my superficial stomach muscle split about 1.5 inches apart (vertically)because my child was so big. I started doing pilates and this helped a lot. I still have a about 1 inch of saggy skin on my lower stomach, but pilates helped me get rid of the fat in it. Maybe you could give pilates a try? I don’t think the saggy skin will go away without a tummy tuck.
I also have the overhang after the pregnancy with the twins and a c-section. I have to say that the overhang is more likely the result of the weight gain, but now you got me wondering. I haven’t really tried to get rid of the overhang yet, so I’m hoping when I do, it will go away.
i have nothing to add. except that i am getting more and more worried about my girl parts.
and i think what you are talking about is called an ‘apron’ of some sort. i only know because people use it as a search term and end up on my blog.
give it a year and if it doesn’t go away–get surgery! i will.
Although I don’t have any advice to add I wish your awning all the best. Very interested in what happens…just in case I ever have twins 🙂 Keep us posted. By the way, thanks for stopping by my blog!
well being of the twins and c-section club I can tell you that I have it, even with all the weight I lost after babies. I hate to think that it won’t go away (I did put on some weight ..about 15 lbs or so since I lost the 40) but that doesn’t make it better or worse, it’s just “there” and I hate it.
I hope that medical science can find a way to fix and make it “bigger, faster, ….” that’s something totally different isn’t it?
I hope it goes away for all of us, as niceh as a French bistro awning sounds, it looks hideous on a flippy flap.
hugs
Twins and section here too. That extra hanging skin won’t go away without surgical intervention. The stretch marks will lighten with time, but will never completely disappear.
The c-section actually contributes to the skin folding over. When all the layers of muscle, fat, and other tissue they cut to get your babies out heals, it heals with scar tissue — harder and with a tendency to cause the uninjured tissues to pucker. Ugh!
I’m planning a tummy tuck (and breast lift) for 2010. The $$ are already earmarked. I love my kids dearly, but in order to love myself again, I need to fix what they did to my body.
Flap? got it. It never goes away. It sucks. A friend had a T-tuck and got rid of hers but now her stomach looks like a map of rivers. Either way you slice it (pun intended) your body has gone away and been replaced by the one you are wearing.
You know, I think your cafe is very cute! I’m sure Bebop will be glad to visit. 🙂
Couldn’t resist…
Yes, it does go back to normal, or well, somewhere in the vicinity of normal anyway. I don’t think I’ll ever actually be normal anywhere below my waist again, frankly. AND I didn’t even do the stretch-over-a-watermelon kind of delivery!!!
Yikes.
Hmmm… I just thought about this question more, and I realized that I had an awning before, because I was/am fat. So, um, my “normal” state, if you can call it that, has an awning. Sorry. Didn’t mean to be misleading!
OH MY I know exactly what you are talking about! I too have it. I’ve had 2 c-sections and lost ALL of the baby weight PLUS some extra and the effing thing is still there. Hubs says it gives him shade while he’s down-under .. nice the things my hubby and I talk about huh
Mind if I link you? We’re having our share of issues TTC so you know i’m not some odd person wanting to know about your hoo-ha 🙂
I call the fleshy thing, my lovely “pituitary apron.” We call a flabby vag (which let’s face it, it STILL looks a little different, even after a c-section) “feeding the pony.”
I have three children, the last with a weight gain of over 50 lbs. I’m now down to 120 lbs, but, yes, the awning remains. I have no idea how to get rid or it, or whether it’s possible. I keep chalking it up to being 42 years old, but somewhere in my head, I know that’s an excuse. Or maybe not. I’ve just given up.
But awning. Yes. Perfect description!
oh my gosh you all are so funny!
I didn’t have a c butmt best friend did and her don is 2…she had what you’re describing and, while still there, it IS better and continues to improve, so take heart!
Otherwise, I’m always telling myself a tummy tuck wouldn’t be out of the question once we know we’re done with having babies. (hahahaha even the idea of more pregnancies is funny I know)
So as for the invite, I’ll send you one asap but we’re on the way home from new Orleans and I don’t want to forget sooooooo please email me a reminder! Its jpond underscore 24 at yahoo dot com
Wishing you and you ladybits well!!!
Oh GAWD!!! I had to skip through all the comments after I read the first several – and then lie on the floor for a moment to regroup (on the left side mind you) – I am going to have a flap of skin that doesn’t go away? NOOOOOOOOOO. I’m already a horrific mess these days (huge, bloated, multiple chins, etc.) – somehow I thought, “Now that I don’t have to worry about all the trying to stay pregnant business – I’m going to look BETTER THAN EVER after the baby’s born!” Boy am I ever deluded. Anyway – I have no great advice (obviously) except, perhaps, we should all invest in good lighting? Sigh. Well, we all have other things going for us – right? Right? RIGHT!!!???!!!??? However, you know, you still look as cute as ever in your photos!
Not liking the comments from people saying it doesn’t go away… My twins (also via C section) are almost 7 months old, and while I lost almost all the weight, my belly is this wrinkly, saggy, stretched out mess, complete with an “awning” as well. Can you also pinch it and not feel anything? It is, however, kind of fun to play with.
Never had twins, never been pregnant for more than a few weeks, but still, I have the awning. Its from being a) fat and b) having had major abdomical surgery when I was 18. I have a horizontal scar that runs across my upper bikini line from hip to hip and my tummy flab, umm, folds over it. Awning. Heh heh. On the other hand, I now do not give a flying fercrying what pregnancy does to my belly.
My mother had three kids each of increasing enormitude AND abdominal surgery, and her belly looks, OK, really. A bit soft, and you can see the stretch-marks in certain lights, but otherwise OK. She says, pilates. And gallons of cocoa-butter – a pure good brand like Palmers and none of your ‘with 3% cocoa butter!’ perfumed nonsense.
OMG that is so funny. My hubby & I named it the “awning” too! Exactly what it is…how lovely.
Have you checked out Shape of a Mother?
Not a C-section vet, BUT, between my two kids, my stomach will never, ever return to it’s taught position. Meaning that a tummy tuck is in my future. Which is sexy. And gross.
Fellow C-section twin mommy here, reporting for duty.
Cocoa butter, virgin sacrifices, sit-ups, you name it, none of them work. I lost all the baby weight plus another 13 pounds and I have the soft, over-stretched rubber band pouch, the one where you have to choose if it goes over the panties or under it.
So no.
It won’t go away.
Sorry love.
Golden Girls Attack of the Droopy Flesh Monster….you could always GOOGLE-MAP it!
I LOVE the photo of the cafe. I want to be there right now. And I’m totally ignoring the fact of why you’re displaying it.
Wow, this blog is hilarious! I had a similiar flap issue after c-section of my twinnies, and my doc gave me a velcro corset-like thingy. It was really uncomfortable, but it did help.
Oh, Watson, how I love you!
I weigh less than I did before Les Triplets, but I still have some weight to lose. Still, even once I lose all the weight I need to lose, no doubt, my awning will still be there.
You and I, Watson, are screwed. That’s the long and the short of it.
Twins, check. C-section, check. Awning, check. 🙂
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!! your awning is WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY more charming than mine!! but i do think my stretch marks might be fading?? maybe?
incidentally last night i dreamed that when i looked down my stomach was completely flat. another reason i need to get more sleep.
LMAO! Between the ladies on the top starting out at a B cup and ending at a G, 2 years of Clomid, and finally, a full term pg, I not only have a (very sexy, as per my hubby) awning, but apparently, it’s a two story building with apartments on the top. Both apartments have balconies. LOL- buy my kiddo was worth it! Hubby is an electrician, so we aren’t too worried about the lighting at this point….just enhances the mood, should it ever hit;)