OMIGOD, work is so busy!
It is literally kicking all three of our asses. I barely have time to read and comment on your blogs, much less write any of the tripe I usually try to fill up this space with.
So I’ll update you, The Oneliner Style:
First of all, THANK YOU oh so sweet people of the internet (she says shyly, kicking her right foot back and forth along the ground and looking up at you from under her eyelashes…). Thank you for saying I’m not boring. I love you. And now I’m reconsidering my self-imposed ban on posting any belly pictures, only because even if I DO bear an uncanny and very disturbing resemblance to one of those whales recently stranded in the Sacramento Delta, I think you would all lie and write very nice things about how I’m not huge at all, and how I’m crazy I’m soooo not big and so on and so forth, and who wouldn’t love THAT.
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Next up: I think the NT scan went well, although they don’t really give you the official results there. Knowing that, I told BeBop he didn’t have to come with me, because why have him take yet another day off? Well, now I know why. Because I showed up in a crowded waiting room filled with couples, as the only single lady there. And people looked at me with pity in their eyes, like I was the poor single knocked up girl. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) Only they DID look at me like I was alone and pathetic, unless I’m totally imagining all that which is entirely possible.
The technician totally reminded me of an Eastern European gypsy of some sort. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) With a thick accent, a colorful head scarf and huge jangly gold earrings. I was afraid she would pickpocket my fanny pack while I was looking at a map. (Was that tasteless? Probably.) Anywhoosers, I kept trying to hear the stats and it seemed like everything was under 3mm, so I guess I’ll wait for the results to come back, but in general I’m feeling fine about everything.
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Next: The movie! It was GREAT! Great, if you don’t mind starving your ass off and not eating until after 9:00 PM!! I forgot that normal people (read: non-pregnant people) can actually have a few drinks and some light appetizers and watch a movie and then eat dinner at 9:30 at night. I, on the other hand, cannot do that.
I had my emergency set of crackers in my little black clutch, which I scarfed as soon as the movie started. Then my two Mentos, which I always carry also in case of emergency. Then I started to freak out and was about to devour the lint at the bottom of said purse I was so hungry…but I managed to make it until the party started, only to realize with sheer horror that because Rata.tou.ille is set in Paris, the party had a Parisian theme.
Did you know that lots of French food is not so good for pregnant ladies? I did not know this. The caterer provided tons of wine (natch!) and crates of soft cheeses and fish and cold cuts in the form of Croque Monsieurs. I had to eat the damn sandwiches for fear of literally starving to death and/or starting to devour BeBop’s left arm. (Note to Listeria: You can SUCK IT.)
But the movie was awesome and if you can get past the idea of a rat in a kitchen (which, to be perfectly honest, did take me a sec.) the story is amazing and creative and the animation is just gorgeous and I will definitely see it again in the theater, when I’m not exhausted and stuffed into a tight dress and tight shoes with an aching tail bone.
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Moving on: my little sister is being induced on Monday — yikes! My Mom is flying down to LA on Monday, and is already inquiring about the proximity of Sherman Oaks to my sister’s house because, apparently, there’s a fabulous chiropractor there and my Mom thinks a newborn should be seen by a chiropractor to get his little head and neck CRACKED back into place. And that’s just the beginning…Lord help us!
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Since I rarely dress up these days, I asked BeBop to take a photo of me at the gala and here it is, for your viewing pleasure. I’ll write more when I have ten seconds to put a cogent thought together!
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Firstly–how does one get into a prescreening of a movie–are you a very important person??
Secondly, I think the beard is rather attractive but a little bit untamed. Possibly a nice facial mousse would help.
Thirdly, Please promise all of us that your mother isn’t on the short list of babysitters for any of her grandchildren. CRACKING a newborn…I can honestly say I have never heard that one before! YIKES!
See–you are beautiful. Even with a hairy, hairy beard. And check out that rack! Pregnancy becomes you.
Watson, you are STUNNING. Pregnancy looks so good on you!
Now post a real picture. 🙂
So glad the NT scan went well, and that you didn’t starve to death waiting for dinner–I couldn’t wait until 9:30 and I’m not even pregnant.
The beard becomes you, by the way!
OK – first things first – be there and grab the baby and run with it before grandma has a chance to get any “cracking” done. Maybe you should use Dr. Google in your prepared defense?? Just my assvice..
Second – THAT was funny… I was expecting a real pic, and I got a good belly laugh out of that. Thanks!!
Third – you should be the happiest person in the world if you get round… YOU ARE PREGNANT! Don’t you dare start wishing away those pounds!
I KNEW IT. i knew you had a beard IRL. And, between you and I, i think serenity is a PIRATE.
omg….tears…streaming…can’t…stop….LAUGHING….that picture! is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen….oh my LORD!
Gorge!
Bea
Can’t comment… Dying laughing…
Somebody please save that baby from the cracking. Yikes!
I’m insanely jealous – I can only manage a straggly goatee….
So glad all’s going well and yeah, nice pic.
WOW! You mentioned you had facial hair, but I had no idea…
Good luck to your sister, and as others have said, protect the poor little one!
congratulations and best wishes to your sister! and you need to fill us in on what the babes were up to during the NT scan, did they bounce around and do cartwheels as i have read?
… and now I know why I can never read your posts at work… DYING here in laughter… crying… OMG that picture is TOO MUCH.
I’m gonna use that as my screen saver.
Tee hee hee! Too freakin’ funny. Lovely frock. Lovelier beard.
Glad to hear the NT scan went smoothly, pitiful-looks-glanced-your-way aside.
Cheers, Ms. Planner
sweet louise! absolutely gorgeous!
glad to hear that you didn’t starve, have told listeria to eff off, and that things are going well….
Please, what person, not to mention someone eating for multiple persons, could reasonably be expected to survive on emergency cracker rations and 2 mentos? You made the right choice and I’m sure Bebop is happy to still have possession of his arm.
HA HA HA!! You soooo got me with that one! I scrolled down anxiously…lol, I’m still seriously laughing.
You are too funny! I never read your posts without LOL! I actually come here more for the humor than anything! Thanks for providing comic relief in our corner of the IF world:)
WOW- you’re HOT.
That pic makes me want to go tweeze and wax my face. Just to be sure.
Next time, could you post a picture of your beard, braided? I think it would be a nice touch.
I shouldn’t have been as caught off-guard as I was and I laughed my ass off. I even forced my (male) coworker to fall for it and he did. Hilarious, as always!!
Really glad to hear that you are feeling good about the scan. And there is NO way those little crackers would have saved me, pregnant or not.
Try this on your facial hair, I hear it’s good. http://www.groominglounge.com/grlobedeshcr.html
Baby cracking? Sounds like something you would find in a dark alley somewhere. Betcha there’s going to be Google hits for it!