Twas a few nights before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a spouse.
The OPKs were laid by the bathroom sink with care,
In hopes that a second line soon would be there.
Bosco the dog was nestled snug in the bed,
While visions of squirrels danced in his head.
And BeBop in his boxers, and I in my jammies (which are such wrecks!),
Had just settled down for another installment of baby-making sex.
When out in the bathroom there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed ,and hopped over the dog, to see what was the matter.
Away to the sink I flew like a flash,
To check the ovulation-predicting stash.
The bathroom light shone like a star, giving me a sign,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
BUT ONE SINGLE LINE.
I was off the hook that night,
Thank the good Lord above because I looked quite the fright.
So it was off to bed, sniffling, coughing and sneezing up a storm,
To skip sex that night, which is really the norm.
And then, as the dawn broke today,
I noticed still more EWCM in the region of the vajay-jay.
So it’s back to the sticks and the tests tonight,
In the hope we can, finally, get it right.
And Watson exclaimed, as she ended this post,
She wishes she could raise her glass in a toast.
To all of her new friends who lend such love and always have a clue,
She hopes in the New Year all of your wishes come true!
Nice story. I hope you get two lines soon too – on the OPK and very soon, the other pee stick. Take care!
Loved this, Watson! 🙂
Reminded me of a Christmas assignment we had long ago, to “re-write” our own version of this oft-told Christmas tale. Of course, I was about 11 at the time, so it did not include any reproductive references….LOL 😉
You could also sing, “All I Want For Christmas is two OP Lines, two OP Lines…!!!”
Here’s hoping that things cooperate accordingly for you soon!!
xx
Nilla
If you go to my August 28 post you will see a photo of our Bosco..I about fell out of my chair when I read your poem..which was terrific by the way.
God Watson, you need to write professionally. This is really good. What do you do in real life? If it isn’t writing, you are in the wrong line of work.
Fantastic… and good luck!
LOVE it! Good luck, sweets!
xoxo
Sheer bloody poetry. Love it, Watson! Here’s to a positive OPK for Christmas and a positive HPT (and the subsequent “rhoids”) in the New Year!
Lots of love,
Zee
BRAVO!!!!
You are so talented! I love it!!
An ode to an OPK, I love it! Sorry I’ve been absent for a little while. I hope that you did get your positive OPK, but after the sperm thang. (laughed at that post too, btw!).
That
was
fantastic.
I just totally spit out my drink. That was just fucking brilliant.
You are my hero.
dear god you’re funny. screw reese i want YOU to be my best friend 4 EVA!!
This was hysterical. You’re so funny, Watson. Happy New Year!
Love it!
Same to you!
Love this!! Happy New Year Watson..I hope all your wishes will come true in 2007!!
love the song, OMG, I forgot to be sad for about 60 seconds. That was adorable….Hope your Christmas was great and that 2007 is YOUR year!!!