Well, that totally sucked.
The move, that is.
But I’m sure you already knew that. You were just too nice to say anything.
You commented a cheery, "good luck with the move!" instead of: "Good luck with the move, SUCKA!!"
Or, "congrats on the new place, I hope all goes well," instead of: "Welcome to the 7th circle of HELL you poor bastard…HA HA HA."
The packing and the bending and the dropping of each and every object that touched my fingers got real old, real fast.
If you came anywhere near the new house anytime over the last two weeks, you would have heard a constant refrain of FRICK and GODDAMN IT, which was me, dropping something and wishing I had one of those old lady grabbers I could use instead of trying to contort my body over and around my big belly to try and reach said object on the floor.
And the dirt, OY. We had an eco-friendly cleaning team come in the day before we moved and I now know that ‘green, eco-friendly’ cleaning is code for ‘we clean with WATER you moron and sit around all day and charge you hippy yuppies an arm and a leg and don’t do a GODDAMN thing.’
By the time I had to use the bathroom and put the dishes away in the kitchen cabinets I was prepared to use freaking Napalm, without rubber gloves, just to try my best to get something clean.
And the fleas.
The previous owners were, apparently, not the neatest or most hygienic folks on the block as many of our new neighbors have shared with us. They had two large dogs and it seems they were infested with fleas (the dogs, not the owners, although now that I think about it that’s a distinct possibility too…) because although there was an entire month between them moving out and us moving in when the little bastards had no host body to feed off, they were alive and well when we got here, just waiting for poor Bosco who’s never had fleas before.
We had to change his name to Fleabite McGee. He wasn’t impressed.
After a flea dip (I tried to make him feel better about the whole deal by singing a constant refrain of They said I had to get a flea dip, but I said NO NO NO to the tune of Amy Winehouse’s hit song "Rehab" but he didn’t get the humor) he finally started to feel better as we tried to battle the fleas he had so kindly brought into the house and firmly ensconced in our couches and rugs.
I have been a crying, whining, complaining mess since we got here.
I know once we get settled I’ll be happy we have a house with a small yard and we’re not in a tiny condo with ten-thousand stairs, but I had no idea how hard this transition would be.
I’m not good with change, or chaos, or disorganization in general. So moving while six months pregnant was not the best idea we’ve ever had, but things are getting better.
(And I know, I know! Someone ill-equipped to confront change, chaos or disorganization is in for a RUDE awakening with TWO babies on the way…)
But we finally got the bathrooms somewhat clean, and the kitchen is better, and the fleas are failing in their evil attempt to take over the entire house.
In other news, I’m still feeling okay. I really have no complaints in that area. I have these episodes a few times a week where my blood pressure plummets and I feel shaky and faint and like I can’t catch my breath. I imagine it’s quite similar to getting the vapors. And although I would love to fan myself while sighing heavily (making my new cleavage — crushed into a red velvet corset — heave with the melodrama) and recuse myself to the bed chamber, waiting for a handsome man-servant to rush in with smelling salts to revive me, I’m usually at work and instead have to slink off into the lounge and lie down for a few minutes until it passes.
It’s a pain in the ass, but nothing serious. I am exhausted, but have no other major health issues or complaints and for that, I am supremely grateful.
I have some issues with swelling, especially when the temperature reached 100 degrees. I looked like the evil spawn of Fat Bastard and Jiminy Glick.
I had another growth scan two weeks ago and everything looks good. I am due for another one-hour glucose test sometime this week. My dr. now wants to see me every two weeks instead of every month.
It’s getting closer and still, I can’t believe it. I am 27 weeks, two days today.
I was getting the nursery (OMG, what am I saying?!? A nursery? An actual room for BABIES?!?) ready last weekend and I just burst into tears. I am in total and utter shock that I am pregnant, that I am having twins, that soon there will be two little beings sleeping on the organic mattress my Mother bought us. I washed all the sheets and after line-drying them out in the sun, actually IRONED them. (Hello! The 1950s called. They want their Stepford Wife back.) I am practicing my Mom martyr act now, by exclaiming to the babies how they better be grateful, dammit, because I loathe ironing and have never, EVER considered ironing a sheet in my life. So they better appreciate it.
Good God, could this post be any more random? I apologize for that. We went from dirt and fleas to complaining and crying to getting the vapors to decorating the babies’ room.
I will try to get my head out of my ass at some point and try my best to put a coherent post together sometime soon. And maybe I’ll post some photos. But please don’t view them soon after eating, unless you’re sure you can stomach the image of a Fat Bastard/Jiminy Glick Unholy Union.
Dude, moving is the WORST. I hate it with all of my soul. But you did it!!! The worst is over.
Yeah, moving sucks.
But the flea dip Rehab remix is hysterical.
Dude. Ironing sheets?
I wanted to let you know as well (so glad you posted today to remind me!) that I put your injection videos up at IVF Shoot ‘Em Up so I hope you don’t mind. But I think there’s more people to be entertained by them!
Bea
http://ivfshootemup.blogspot.com/
hey! been lurking for a while! just wanted to say congrats on everything!! 27 weeks!! Moving!! YAY!
p.s. i think we live about 2 hours from you!!
Dear Watson, that does, indeed, sound like the move from hell. And eco-friendly cleaning? I’ve experienced it too. (Hey, bacteria have a right to live too, don’t they? Pass the hot chocolate.) As for the fleas, I’m so sorry. It must be horrible to have a brand-new (for you) house infested like that. Crap.
So glad the worst of it is over now.
I so hear you on the dropping things. What the heck is that all about? I’m just glad none of my huffing, straining retrieval efforts (so far) have been captured on film…
I had the same experience moving into my current house with the fleas. Only it took me while to figure out why the cats were scratching themselves and what those little insects were biting my ankles! One thing that was a total pain, but really helped was that we sprinkled boric acid into all of the carpets: sprinkle it, sweep it in with a broom, then vacuum it up. Tons of fun, but it worked.
Thanks a lot! Now I have Rehab stuck in my head! haha …
Congrats on the move being done. Yeah, I thought you were a bit nuts when you said you were moving, but hey … who ever said you weren’t nuts?
You are moving right along in this pregnancy, and I’m so glad things are going well. My twins just turned 5 months and boy does the time fly!
Hang in there girl!
Dude. I should know better to read your updates when drinking coffee. Now I need to clean off my dripping keyboard.
Glad you made it into the new place. Glad you’re winning the fight against the fleas. Worried that you’re IRONING sheets, but thinking this is a freak pregnancy thing that will go away when the babies are born. Maybe. 🙂
Moving is never fun-I hated it with a passion and we still have stuff in boxes! But it is now behind you and you don’t have to think about it again!
You IRONED the SHEET? Dude. Are you FEELING ok? I didn’t even iron the DUST RUFFLE on Ava’s crib! lmao!
Moving sucks. Our best friends just did it/are doing it and boy. LOTS.of.STUFF. let me tell you.
Glad things are going well with the babies. I hear you on the shock that you’re pregnant. 26w2d here and feeling the SAME way.
He he he. Your post had me laughing, although I am sorry it was at your expense with all of the moving and flea dipping (horror!) and the like.
I loved that you got to decorate the nursery. I am so happy for you. I hope I have that feeling some day soon.
dude, what nut case decides to move when they are very preggy and with twins…Oh.
i would so do the ecofriendly thing. and then come to my senses.
i hope things calm down, soon very soon.
step away from the iron…
Watson – so good to finally hear from you! Yes, moving sucks. Let’s hope giving birth is more pleasant!
Ok, I thought “the vapors” was gas! I used to think it was getting faint, but then was told by someone of the older generation that it is just gas. I don’t know which it is anymore.
Anyway, congrats on your house and I’m glad you’re feeling well!
Trust me, nothing wrong with a little rambling in your post. I am PG too, so my mind is wacked. I can totally follow you around all the bends you make! LOL
Yeah, you get all that ironing done now. I just dusted after a month of letting it accumulate. It’s not so much that you don’t have the time, (which is true, but if you really want to do it, you make the time, unlike people will tell you, that you won’t ever do anything ever.again. after baby(ies). It’s just that you’re like pfft, “eff cleaning.”
It sucks about the house though. We had a cat that contracted fleas when I was a kid. Nightmare that was.
i had the exact same freak out at 27 weeks when the third tri was a few days away and i just had a major shock moment. and then it was just CRAZY how suddenly i absorbed that shock and moved right on to: Okay, I’m totally ready! I can’t imagine this continuing for 10 more weeks!
27 weeks, holy crap!!! I can’t believe it either and everytime I read your posts, I am struck by how you are feeling so much of what I am, just decorating for Fall last night had me crying and wimpering and taking WAY TOO MANY breaks. I’ve been thinking of you and thanks for the laugh about the REHAB remix..that’s classic.
I always said the vapors and the chaise would work for me, until those powerball numbers come up, I guess I have to keep working instead.
*hug*